BEAUTY & GRACE'by Graciela Floravez Grageda-my beautiful aunt

beauty in a bud

Beauty a word most taken for granted,
an eternal cure,almost forgotten,
a blissful feeling we all wanted,

Beauty in every flower,a butterfly,
a song of a humming bird,

There is beauty in greatness and even the smallest thing,
as simple as a breath of fresh air,
for there is beauty in everything,

There is beauty in every smile,

 BEAUTY QUEEN in her youth...

a laughter thrown in abandon,
pure honesty of a child,

There is beauty in every mother's pain,
unconditional love for her child,

Chaos and confusion but pass away,
Beauty,a gift of our Eternal Being,stays,

Beauty is in every bud,
kissed by a fresh morning dew,

There is beauty in every twilight
twinkle of stars,sparkle of fireflies,

Beauty is in every imperfection,
beauty is in every creation,

It can kindle even the darkest room,
a violet in every vast gray meadow,

Beauty must be nurtured and cultivated,
for it is inherent in each and everyone,
and in all things created,

it is beauty that gives grace to our hearts,


Beauty and Grace,immortalized.....

beauty never ages...

in memories,cherished and preserved.....

my pastime...beadwork

             One of my favorite pastime is beading my old blouses as well as my friends's.I found it relaxing and at the same time creating a new outfit from an old one is fulfilling...these are some of my work...the rest I have given to my friends as gifts.
             

missy in my bead work

me in my bead work

nina in my beadwork

tess in my beadwork

CHERISHING MEMORIES (SJA'78)

       

2nd yr hi 1975'76

one of my performances with the "GLEE CLUB"

             High school life was the setting of my most cherished memories.It honed my personality as well as my talents,thus helped my confidence rise a bit higher.I was deeply honored when I was asked to share some of the unforgettable moments during those joyful and carefree times.
              I literally danced my way through high school and cared less in academics.The late Mr.Nebres used to reprimand me about it,well I was just thrilled with my dancing and acting,I preferred it from  wasting my time studying Algebra and memorizing names and events in History.Anyway I thought,Zelda Mortega,Fernando Valestra and Merlie Nicol to name a few were more adept in that field.But me?No way!I even danced to the tune of the church bells' ringing,so you see how carefree I was in high school.

               Somehow I was also a part of our school's cultural presentations,especially in our time when Saint John's Academy was so in to cultural shows,such as theater arts and the likes..Imagine having to perform six to seven dances in one show!Not to mention the lengthy hours of rehearsals at the school convent.Well,I never did complain one bit,as I said I preferred dancing and acting from attending classes.What I'm wondering now is,why I was a member of "Glee Club"when my voice was so out of tune even up to now?Well maybe because my face was expressive.That was the only thing I needed...so I thought,to be a member of our school choir.Mr.Ramon Manjares used to place me in the front row so as they could see the right facial expression for a  particular phrase or stanza of a song.So you see...it pays to be an actress.My mentors,then Miss Lea Manga,Miss Aurora Vibar,Mrs. Layese,together with Mr.Poblete made my days in SJA more colorful than any young girl could ever dream of.Hail to you my dear teachers!

               Going back further my memory lane...Nenita Muyna, a classmate and a dear friend was with me when the late Mr.Nebres made us sing the National Anthem,right  at the school grounds,because we were late as usual.Little did he know that I really loved performing I was singing it with gusto!It wasn't a punishment for me then,it was more like throwing the turtle into the river.

               All the madness and sweet innocence of youth may be meaningless then if not senseless...but looking back it makes one more complete and more appreciative in life.The dreams and fantasies of the young may not exactly be fulfilled but who cares?!Real life and dreams go separate ways sometimes if not always.

SJA' 61st Anniversary 'souvenir book

             

our dear teachers

BULKANG MAYON-(MAYON VOLCANO)

OUR MAJESTIC MAYON VOLCANO

CAGSAWA RUINS

from the sea

DARAGA CHURCH,where I was baptized

CAMALIG TOWN...my beloved birthplace,the exact site where
 I used to play near my Mama Nena's house where I was born.

sa sakong pag dakula...
sa palibot mo...
aldaw man o banggi...
ako nagkakawat!


gayon mo..
dai malaktawan...
maogma,mamundo...
o dagit man!


kairiba ko ika...
puon sa pagka aki...
pag daraga...
sagkud sa ngunyan...
yaon ka nakabantay!


mag agi man...
an makusog na bagyo...
linog o tag ubas...
kagayunan mo...
dai nagbabago!


dakul an nauuri...
ta ngata kami sana...
sa bilog na kinaban...
an igwang...
arug saimo!

beauty even  in wrath

raging beauty

my Buntot...from mama

           You always say I love you less,you always say I care for you less...but in your heart you knew all along that my love for you is boundless.Don't you ever wonder why you can tease me that way?Why you can tell me anything that comes your mind if I love you less...
           If only my embraces could shield you from all the hurts that come your way...I would...with all my heart.If only I could kiss away the sadness I sometimes see in your face I would...forever...but somehow I know you also have your own life to live,a life that you alone would lead...You have to be strong my Buntot...life could sometimes be cruel,but stand firm and face the storms that hinder your dreams with all your might!...At the end of the rainbow your bright future awaits,it's there all along,believe in your dreams,hold on to your faith and nothing my son will go wrong.

my buntot's self sketch

          I didn't show how hard for me to let go when you left for college,you are my youngest,my baby...and will  always be until you're old and gray...but my sadness is nothing compared to your goals I pray you would someday achieve...and when that day comes i am complete.

my Kenken...from mama

kenken and me

Jared Ken

            Surely you are an artist inside out,you paint and write magnificently.You made me proud my son.But we have to face the world as it comes,both sad and happy memories swiftly pass,and that my son I assure you of..You're young and blessed by talents many are praying for...use it and give yourself another chance to embrace life once again.
            Twenty five years ago I asked God for another child,and lo!He gave me you!Unlike your kuya,you were strong and cried so loud,even the doctors were amused cause for an infant like you,they had a glimpse of how strong willed you'll become.You always tagged along with your kuya...though you were a bit headstrong,never a day passed that you never told me"I love you mama"every day as you woke up,and that you do up to now.I miss my Kenken who was so vibrant and full of life...you had great dreams I'm confident you would achieve..
             Dream again my son...your bright horizon awaits...it was there all along...waiting for you the moment you dreamt for it.You are the captain of your ship now my Kenken,whatever you do with your life you are the only one who will benefit or suffer in the end.As you go and reach for that star,please keep in my mind that my faith in you will guide you all along...

Kenken's self portrait

             Godspeed my Kenken...
         

my JJ...from mama

            How can I forget?You were the first in my womb?The moment you were conceived I was afraid...I was then a child.But young as I was,I promised that I would keep you,together we would grow,face the world with all the love I could give,the only thing I could offer.And finally the day came when I heard your first cry...you were so tiny,I almost couldn't take you in my arms,I kept on staring at you,wondering if you would survive...they had to feed you through your veins cause you were so weak,I had to show I was brave for you though I was so nervous you wouldn't stay with me for long...and I prayed hard...so hard I was certain God listened and gave you back to me.
            And true enough,we grew up together,a child rearing another child,crying together,laughing together,dreaming together...I was always there for you,your first smile,first words,and when you started school,I wanted to tag along with you,I wasn't contented to be your mom,I wanted to be your teacher too inside your classroom,oh...you were so smart,you made me real proud,not only as your mom but as your teacher as well...How fast you grew!All the medals and achievements you took home were all I needed to finally say,thank God I made it.
             Now it seems you outgrew me,the loving,supporting son and brother you become...and the most amazing thing is...a god fearing child every parent dreams of!That is the ultimate honor a son could ever give to his parents.
             Soon you will be having a family of your own,I know you will be a better parent than I was for you,that alone makes me happy knowing my grandchildren will have a loving,responsible,and god fearing father.
             As I am waiting for that day,I'm just here for you,as ever...and forever be your mama.


            HAPPY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dearest Jayjay!!!

one of my jj's photo shoots

fifth decade

             As the start of my golden years is within reach,I wonder what it would feel like...fifteen or fifty seem the same...I may have more responsibilities than I had when I was younger,but just that,nothing more nothing less.Why should I feel differently when this suits me well.I'm content of everything I have right now...I may have no riches to boast nor even to promise...The only thing I can leave my family of,is my memory knowing I had showered them with my unconditional and overwhelming love,that I have never ran short.
             Looks may differ as years pass,but  as my age add up year after year,I thank my Lord Jesus of the way He created me,my disposition,my outlook and most of all the way I am who is always content whatever life offers.Hardships came and went and maybe some are on their way...but I know with God beside me,He'll always be there holding my hand as He always did in my past...my faith in Him will last for my lifetime.

RHYTHM FROM WITHIN

like a dove i will  soar ...

to my dance of long ago...

and  yesteryears...

my heart is pumping...
my blood starts to flow...
and my soul is breaking free..
to soar through the wind...

and sway in the meadows!

as i pirouette across the moon...

my face glows...taking me home...

to my first love...

flying and floating in the sky...

circling the moon and stars...

gliding with the waves!

as i lift my head to the heavens...

my weightless body floats through the wind...
dancing with the clouds...
to the rhythm of my beating heart!

and swiftly as i plunged...
the cascading crytals of the mountains...
pivoting down the bed of wild fragrance of spring...
bathing in its glorious scent!

my spirit soars to the way i was...
the dancer i used to be...and will always be...
till my heart stops to beat...and my blood stops to flow...
will i make my last curtsy!

till my last breath.

OF WIND & STORM

long ago...
when the wind was young...


free to kiss...
the earth and sky...
dancing in the rhythm of the rain...
chasing waves...
to the deepest sea...
teasing blooms and butterflies...
how young and carefree...
the wind was.

calmer days came...
when its time to breathe softly...
to blow evenly...
to caress lovingly...
to nurture nature...
in her soft embrace.

and lo!
storm crashed at mid day,
peace and quiet gone!
wind and storm clashed!
beating and fighting,
with all their mights!

but how can that be...
when they are one!
in body...
and in soul.

wind is storm...
and storm is wind!
only time can tell...
for them to be...

one in spirit.

great beyond

only the truest...
heart would know...
what one truly feels.


feelings so deep...
it transcends..
to the great beyond...
so beautiful...
pure and sacred.


for you alone...
who gives me life...
you alone give color...
to my life.


you will always be with me...
i will always be with you...
no matter what.


we will always be together...
will never be apart...
forever...
to the great beyond.

meet the real me

            Funny,stupid me,that's who I am!Three months ago,my knowledge about computers,laptops not to mention internet was ZERO!As in I knew nothing!I didn't even dare touched or dusted my son's computer,for fear I might change anything or break it.I even tiptoed around it cause if something went wrong with his computer I might be blamed again.
           Last March I decided I wanted to learn and was curious about the net,besides I was always by myself and nothing much to do to while away my time.I sat down in front of my hand me down laptop(my son's)and self studied. To my amazement I got it and it was fast!How happy I was with my new hobby I lost track of time lately.I met my long lost friends and relatives but most wonderful of it all,I can write again.As days passed I wanted to level up,Sho and Shaw my nieces,together with Vanessa a friend of my sons,encouraged me to put up a blog."THE BLOG"!So blog I did!It's more exciting for me!I got a different high I didn't realize I was at my laptop till the wee hours of the morning.
           Then it happened!Oh my God!something was wrong with my blog!I couldn't access my account!I tried and tried for almost three hours but nothing happened!I lost my blog!I panicked and called my youngest son who was in the middle of his exam.He said "Ma,I'm having an exam right now,please don't bother me ok?"I had to find my blog back no matter what,so I called Sho and asked for help,gratefully after just a few minutes or so she found it.Wheeew!What a day!
Then suddenly I remembered my eldest was on the phone!I forgot all about him!And then I saw his text saying"ok ma,I'll take care,love you ma"Oh!He was asking for my blessing before boarding a flight somewhere.I forgot I was talking to him on the phone,just because I couldn't find my precious blog!

my faith,my wish

            Should I dream again?I wonder?I myself wrote in this same blog not to stop dreaming.What more should I ask...I have a family of my own I'm sure every woman like me prays for,three amazing children and a loving responsible husband.Maybe these are more than enough blessings I could ever ask for.But life is a never ending quest,you still wish for something you don't even have an idea whatever it is.I may sound ungrateful but I feel I still have to grow as a person.God would want that,He wouldn't like me to be stagnant,He gave me wisdom and talent to use it and be an inspiration to others.
          So to dream I will!I wish I would be someone who can inspire a lot of people from different walks of life.Rich,needy,sick or even to people who are miserable they could hardly smile.In my own simple way,I would love to see them smile again,hope again and be the person God wants them to be.If only I have the means to go to them and talk them out of their miseries maybe,just maybe I could help.
           When my eldest son was still a baby,He got so sick the doctor told us his chance to survive was nil,my husband and I was so scared.But my faith in God was strong.That night I went to the hospital chapel and prayed fervently to God,asking him to spare my son's life,and make my son a living testimony of His great love for us.I begged Him to show the doctor he was wrong,please God I asked,let Jayjay's fever go so tomorrow when the doctor comes to take him to the OR he'll know that my faith in you healed my son.The moment I uttered those words I felt God's presence,I knew my son was well at that instant.After thanking God I went back to our hospital room,lay beside my sleeping son and slept soundly.
            The following morning to the doctor's surprise my son was well,that same day we went home after staying in the hospital for weeks of batteries of tests.Some would think it was just coincidental but I say,it was a miracle!God's promise for us is real,we only have to claim for it
             My second son when he was only a few weeks old was diagnosed of having  hernia,we were advised for an immediate operation.Before going to the hospital I took my son first to our church and asked our pastor to pray with me so he won't need an operation.When the referred doctor asked me what was wrong with my son I didn't tell him about the hernia thing,while he was busy checking up on my son I was also busy talking to God asking him to remove the hernia Himself so he won't need an operation.For the second time my prayers were answered cause the doctor finally said...ohhh..this is not hernia,this is hydrocele,and will just go away after a month or so.Going home with my son after the check up was the most jubilant walk of my life.
              My youngest was a bit more serious than my two elder sons,he was diagnosed when he was six years old of a heart ailment called enlargement of the heart,right ventricle.I couldn't even understand it at that time.So we had to go to Manila and see a pediatric cardiologist,once again while we were at the waiting room I was asking God to show His love and promises for us.True to His word,the specialist assured me that my son had only a slightly weak heart but will surely overgrow it.No operation just a little extra care for him.Surely God's love never ceases to amaze me!
            If only we believe in God's promises and accept Him as our savior,nothing in this world we couldn't endure.With Him beside us life will be more meaningful and eternal joy will come to us.

thingking out loud

             Yesterday I wasn't really feeling well,actually even up to now.The heat hit me!I wanted so much to write about so many things but nothing special came to mind.Maybe I'm tired...bored...missing my family so much I couldn't think well.I couldn't even go out to my garden cause the heat was too much.Kiss my puppy kept on waiting for me to cuddle him,but I just sat beside him for the whole day.

            Though I'm used having my family away,I can't help but miss them from time to time,wondering if they had eaten their meals properly,how they fared in their daily activities and so on and so fort.Once I overheard an aunt of mine,telling my mom things like.....Enjoy the time when your children are still young and are still asking you things they don't understand,cause time will come that you are going to miss even their cries and whimperings.True enough I miss the days when they came to me and complained about trivial things,their tantrums,their stories after a day in school,their first crush,even their first heart break.

           Maybe this is what a mother should be in the real sense of the word...as the saying goes,"Once a mom always a mom."You can't stop being a mom even if they are parents themselves already,though my boys aren't parents yet,I know now that I'll always be there for them.I'll try not to meddle too much.I hope so...but it will be my joy to be a part of their lives as long as I live.

          I'm sure if they read this they would laugh at me again and say...there you go again mama,you're getting sentimental!Well I can't help it!That's my absolute right as their mom!Don't you think so?I so love my boys I wish they'll have a happy family too someday just like what we have now.